Saturday, May 03, 2008


once in a long long while . . .

.
from the simplest gestures and looks...
from conversations to the kind of silence felt...
there really is a gaping difference...
(it won't be fair to compare just yet...)
that time is probably not a factor to consider in this case...
it is a little smth that clicks... and this probably happens once in a long long long time...
it's like smth brewed over a certain period of time... where special attention and care would be needed in its initial stages... just like laying a foundation for a talltall building... slowly the building will grow... brick by brick everyday... growth won't be significant till it's gained another level...
then it endured rain thunderstorms lightning and the scorching sun... somehow... somehow...

but for it to continue to grow... or to be maintained... it'll need a lil special attention... roofs may leak... the paint may fade... rain may stain the surfaces... cracks may appear... it's gonna take more than before to take notice of these and maintain the quality of the building... not just the appearance...

perhaps... u can say its like a normal multi-storey flat compared to a 3 storey high old museum which withstood the test of time...

(ah... im going off track...
but since i seldom post now i might as well continue my thoughts and ramblings...)

so i thought i really wasn't holding on to anything...
but actually... after thinking...there really are quite a few things which i've been gripping onto rather strongly recently...
perhaps... i should learn and try to let go and let God...
well... the problem is.. i don't know how to...
just wat does 'letting go' mean... in that context.. and that context..


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there is just one kind of silence that i can't stand...
awkward silences(that go hmmmm)are fine since they happen so commonly... well.. at least to me...
but there is just this kind of ZIPPP silence between certain ppl that makes me go almost crazy thinking if i just said smth wrong or smth that sounds wrong or is it just a case of 'didn't hear' or 'just ignore'...
not that im over sensitive... just that sometimes it is quite easy to tell from the overall body language and eyes of a person during ZIPPP silence that smth is weird around here...

seriously... it is alright to disagree and voice out ur opinions or even correct me if im wrong...

phobia already...


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ah... finally 2 hours have passed... 0152hr now...
my bak kut teh should be almost half digested already...

anyway...
4 MORE WEEKS!!
ok... i really can't wait...
getting quite tired...


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for now... i still can't imagine how i'll be continuing on with my journey if we were to split at crossroads...
because this... only happens once in a long long while... to me...
maybe...

11:48 PM